Things to Remember
- Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which people experience little to no sexual attraction.
- It exists on a spectrum, meaning some may experience it rarely or under specific circumstances while others may feel none at all.
- How to know if you’re asexual? To determine if one falls into the category of asexuality, they should consider whether they have ever experienced any kind of sexual attraction.
- There are 10 signs that someone might be ace such as not having thoughts about those you’re attracted to and feeling disconnected from societal expectations for how one should experience sexual attraction and desire.
- Asexual people can still have crushes and sex drives, but their libido does not necessarily correlate with experiencing any type of romantic or physical intimacy with another person; arousal can happen without being connected to an individual’s level of attractiveness towards them specifically.
- Other identities exist within the same spectrum including demisexuals (those who only feel sexually attracted after forming strong emotional bonds) and gray-asexuals (people who fall between sexuality & asexuality).
What Does The Word Asexual Mean?
First, let’s define what asexuality means. Asexual people experience little to no sexual attraction to others. This doesn’t necessarily mean they are unable or unwilling to have sex. The only thing that defines orientation is the lack of sexual attraction.
Asexuality exists on a spectrum, just like any other orientation. Some people may experience no sexual attraction at all, while others may experience it only occasionally or under specific circumstances. It’s also important to note that asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity.
How to Know If You’re Asexual?
Taking the definition into account, how to know if you’re asexual? Think about whether you’ve ever experienced sexual attraction. Have you ever looked at or interacted with a person and felt a desire to have sexual contact with them? If not, it’s possible that you could fall under the asexual spectrum.
If you think that you have experienced sexual attraction but only a few times in your life, or if it’s only under specific circumstances, you could also fall under the asexual spectrum. Asexuality is not an all or nothing orientation. Many times, people realize they’re asexual because they can’t relate to their peers who do experience sexual attraction regularly.
Our Reader’s StoryI remember the first time I felt like I was different from everyone else. I was in high school and my friends were all talking about dating and relationships, but I just felt so disconnected from the conversation. Eventually, I started to wonder if I was asexual.
After doing some research, I was able to identify a few key signs that helped me understand my asexuality. One of the main signs is a lack of sexual attraction to any gender. Another sign is a lack of interest in sexual activities. Finally, some asexual people have a desire to form close, intimate relationships without the expectation of sex.
Once I identified these signs in myself, I was able to accept and embrace my asexuality. It was a relief to finally understand why I felt so different from my peers, and it gave me the freedom to be my authentic self.
10 Signs You May Be Asexual
If you’re still unsure after learning the definition and considering your own experiences, here are 10 possible signs that you may fall under the asexual spectrum:
- You don’t have sexual thoughts about people you’re attracted to.
- You never have sexual fantasies, or feel detached from them when you do.
- You have no desire to engage in sexual activity, even if you enjoy sexually explicit content.
- You feel disconnected from societal expectations of how one should experience sexual attraction and desire.
- You’re not sexually attracted to any specific gender.
- You feel no need or urge to engage in sexual activity, even with someone you love and are emotionally attracted to.
- You feel no discomfort or distress about not experiencing sexual attraction.
- You have never felt a strong desire to engage in sexual activity in any way, even if given the opportunity.
- You have no interest in experimenting with sexual activity, even with a willing partner.
- You feel like your lack of sexual attraction is a core part of your identity.
These are common experiences that helped people know they were asexual, but most of them don’t define asexuality. You can agree with some of these sentences and not with others and still fall under the term. So how to know if you’re asexual? What matters is that you don’t feel sexual attraction on a regular basis.
Do Asexual People Have Crushes?
Most asexual communities use the split attraction model, which means they consider sexual attraction to be separate and different from romantic attraction. People who identify as asexual but not aromantic do experience crushes. For some, a romantic connection is desired but without the spark of sexual attraction that usually accompanies it.
Can Asexual People Have a Sex Drive?
Libido, also known as sex drive, is a biological function that doesn’t have to be connected to sexual attraction. So yes, asexual people can have a sex drive and be interested in sex. They may engage in masturbation or sexual activity for various reasons, such as to please a partner or because they enjoy physical pleasure.
However, their sexual desire or the fact that they enjoy sex is not based on attraction to another person. When someone is asexual, they won’t usually desire sex with someone specific, and they won’t feel sexually attracted to someone they have romantic feelings for.
People who are asexual can also experience arousal, but it may not be connected to attraction. Some even become aroused in response to stimuli that are not typically considered sexually stimulating, such as cuddling or watching a romantic movie. That doesn’t invalidate their asexuality – it just means that their bodies can respond to different stimuli.
Other Identities on the Asexuality Spectrum
One similar identity is demisexuality. Demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after developing a strong emotional bond with their partner. Graysexuality is when someone falls between the spectrum of asexuality and sexuality, sometimes experiencing sexual attraction but rarely or only under specific circumstances.
Remember that asexuality is just one part of someone’s identity. Asexual people can also identify as gay, straight, bi, transgender, and so on. It’s important to respect how they choose to label themselves, and avoid making assumptions about their sexual experiences, or whether they want to have sex or not, based on their asexuality.
In conclusion, how to know if you’re asexual (ace)? If you feel little to no sexual attraction to other people, this identity may fit you. Understanding how asexuality fits into your own personal identity can be a process, and it’s okay to question or explore that before deciding on a label.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can You Cure Asexuality?
Contrary to what some may think, asexuality is not something that can be cured. In fact, it’s an orientation just like being straight or gay and forms part of who people are on the inside. Asexuals should therefore feel proud of embracing their true identity!
Can an Aroace Person Be in a Relationship?
Yes! Aroace people can have fulfilling relationships with partners of any gender identity, sexual orientation, or relationship style.
What Does Aromantic Mean?
Aromantic (or “aro”) is an umbrella term used to describe people who do not experience romantic attraction. Aromantic people can still form close, meaningful relationships with others, but they do not feel a desire to be in a romantic relationship.
Is It Healthy to Be Asexual?
Yes, being asexual is a perfectly healthy and normal part of the human experience. Asexual people have the same emotional and mental needs as everyone else, and they can still have meaningful relationships with others.
What Is Cupioromantic?
Cupioromantic (or “cupi”) is a term used to describe someone who wants to form a deep connection with another person, but does not feel romantic attraction towards them. Cupioromantic people may still experience platonic or aesthetic attraction to people, and can have close relationships without the need for romance.
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